Last week I made my annual retreat. I spent six days at the Palisades Retreat Center on Puget Sound in Washington State. Everything about that place was peaceful: the water, the woods, the atmosphere. My room overlooked the back gardens where I had a view of the rose garden as well as the fountain just down the hill. I loved to open my window in the afternoon and listen to the water. One day I even saw a pair of ducks enjoying themselves in the fountain!

There was a schedule that offered opportunities for me to attend group prayer, Mass, meals, and conferences put on by our retreat masters. Everything on the schedule was optional, and it was brief. I attended almost everything, but since there were two different styles of group prayer offered in the morning, I usually only attended the first one. We watched a movie Thursday afternoon (“Tuesdays with Morrie”), and enjoyed wine, cheese, and other treats during the film. I spent the bulk of each day in prayer, reflection, and reading. I used the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola which gave me seven prayer exercises to enter into throughout the day. I also used The Star in My Heart by Joyce Rupp which engaged me in reflections, and inspired me to attempt to create Mandalas like the one above.

This time of prayer brought me peace, but this did not come without effort. I spent plenty of time each day practicing discipline and self-control in order to let go of distractions so that I could “listen” to God in prayer. Several days, my prayer led me to explore emotional anguish, and it was not always pleasant to sit with this pain as I let God heal my wounds. Towards the end of the retreat, a Reconciliation Service was offered, and it was exactly what I needed. I feel restored and more whole now. My heart rests in the certainty of feeling loved and wanting to share that love with everyone else.

As a Sister of St. Mary of Oregon, I believe that it is important to be involved with the ministries on our campus here in Beaverton. One way in which I do this is to visit Ruth, one of our residents at Maryville Nursing Home. I go over the Maryville once or twice a month to see her. She loves to iron, so usually I just sit and talk with her while she irons her clothes. When she is not feeling well I sit in her room and talk, laugh, cry, and pray with her. Sometimes we just watch TV, but even that involves quite a bit of laughter due to our added commentary.

Some days we play hooky from ironing and find something fun to do: visit her friends, sit in the garden, cut flowers, play the piano, etc. This last week Maryville was celebrating the Rose Festival. Four Rose Princesses were nominated from among the residents at Maryville, and one was crowned as the Rose Queen at a ceremony this Friday. Ruth and I talked Sr. Janet into attending with us. The three of us showed up fashionably late, but in plenty of time to grab some ice cream and strawberries and join with some of the other residents in the celebration!

I found myself at Maryville this Sunday so I decided to stop by and see Ruth, and I ended up stopping to talk to a number of residents on my way to her room and back. It was a joy to be able to bring joy into the lives of so many residents, but it was also hard for me to bear the sadness of so many people. They shared the frustrations and tears that come with the limitations of their lives, and I felt my own limitations as I realized that I could not fix what was wrong. It seems like it would be easier it they simply had problems because a problem can be solved. Instead they have difficulties, daily crosses to bear. This Sunday I found joy in lifting their loads for a little while.